Over-talkers At The Movies: A Solution

Picture this: you’re in the movie theater. Some half-wit behind you will not shut up. And this is AFTER the previews; at least a third of the way through the film.

Blah, blah, blah. BLAHBLAHBLAH BLAHHAHAHAHAHAHA, ad infinitum. Charlie Brown’s teacher makes more sense.

I shush them. No effect. I cough pointedly. No dice. I turn around and ask them nicely to pipe down. They do, for about fifteen seconds, and then resume their idle chatter.

Enough is enough. What do you do, Keanu Reeves? What DO you DO?

Here’s what I do. After one “blah” too many, I launch into super speed, grab the loudmouth mid-sentence, zoom across town to another theater and deposit said loudmouth in the front row of the latest children’s movie. Then I zoom back to my own cinema and sit back down in my own seat.

Best part is, I only miss like two lines of dialogue.

Super speed 1, blabbermouth 0.


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